Are you kidding me???

Seriously! I had grand ideas of how things would go here in China and all the things I would do...I planned to blog every day! can you see how successful that has been by looking at the posts. We have past our 6 month mark for the kids and I and Suonllen is going to be celebrating his year on Feb 22. We are just experiencing the Chinese New Year...so interesting. Things seriously shut down for weeks.

The studio where I teach my classes has been shut down for going on three weeks and when it's all said and done, they will be gone for a total of four weeks. I was in a panic, my students and I were not going to be gone for four weeks and still wanted to hold classes. I was able to pursuade them to let me have a key to the studio while they were still there so they could see I was responsible enough to turn the lights out and lock up after my classes. Which has also given them a break from hearing all the Zumba songs four days a week, six different times. So I have been able to still hold classes there but not under the best circumstances. First I was told there was not heat. One of my students was also one of the owners students and she quickly turned it on for us. Then I was asked for more rent money when they saw I was letting my students use it but with No central heat, it has been REALLY cold! Eventually we warm up the room and it steams up the mirrors and makes the floor slippery and then there is a whole other issue to deal with. With the oners being gone, right now there is no water ? I was told the pipes were "frozen" but I am pretty sure they had the water turned off while they were gone and did not care about my students still using the bathroom. So I am thinking I may need to take a bucket of water there to wash down some stuff if you know what I mean?

New Years for the Chinese is a big time, this is the year of the rabbit. So they are every where. The reason why they take off so much time is because they travel home, which could take days because of the remotenss of the village. It is also a time to give "gifts." Fruit is often given as well as money. We bought red envelopes to give to our new Ayi, our Haifu Ayi, Mr Yang our driver and also to his wife. We wanted to show Mr. Yang and his wife, we appreciate all the hard work he has done for us throughout the year. He basically is on call for us, 24-7 and there have been days when he has worked all day and night because we had things to do and then went out at night. He gets paid well enough with overtime but we also gave to his wife because I know what it's like to have a husband who is on call 24-7 for the job...hello? I'm living it now.
We love the Haifu Ayi and tried to get her to work for us full time but she couldn't, she had a contract she was honoring. And our new Ayi, is REALLY good so we made sure to give her a gift too so she would know we appreciate her even if she has only been working for us one month. But being as she is the THIRD Ayi we have hired and is good not only on cleaning but cooking too, we are going to keep her happy! (I will tell the Ayi stories in another post)

Fireworks have been going off daily for the past week and at all hours of the day. It has gotten to the point where we doe not even flinch when we hear them and when we watched the big celebration, it didn't seem like that big of a deal now. Is it possible to be immune to fireworks?

Dumplings are served at New Years and we have been enjoying the sites of the lights that have gone up, it kinda looks like a Christmas celebration but a month later.

Ahhhh, it's been awhile...

It seems like ages since I have sat down at the computer and put into words all that we are experiencing in China. Since my last Blog, we have gone to Beijing and Shanghai as well as seen some beautiful temples here in Dalian. The culture here is so different. A lot of things the Chinese do makes you say, "hmmmm? What????". Not all are bad either. I have started to appreciate some of the differences and still some, there is no way in you know what that I will ever understand or assimiliate to.

First the light stuff, sights and shopping in Beijing. When we arrived, it was late in the evening. We were all pretty beat. Our hotel was walking distance to Tiananmen Square. Asia and Suonllen went there the first night. I was content with the drive by we did because I was tired and so was Javier so I figured we'd stay in the room. I thought back to 1989, I remember being a senior in HS when the the hundreds of civilians were killed by troops in the streets and around that area, all because they were demonstrating for democracy and for freedoms. At that time, I was in my world of senior year, who to hang out with, who to spend my last days in AZ with as I would be leaving for NY soon...Coming and going as I pleased because I could. I did not think much of the incident at Tiananmen, I had no concept of why this would happen? FREEDOM, This is something we take for granted in the States. I can only imagine what this country, China, would be like if those demonstrations would have ended differently. It was sad for me to think of that time, people my age were killed as well as many ages and it could have been an earlier turning point to bring back the free thinking, the intellectuals bring forth great ideas all in the name of positive change.

I have started to see a doctor in accupuncturist to help everything. One of my goals coming here is to find my "Zen." I am determined to stay in shape and not get out of the exercise routine. We go on living our lives a certain way and one day realize it may not be the right way to live or do things. I have been teaching Zumba 5 days a week and because this body is not 20 anymore, I have been having some pains associated with jumping and shaking it till I can't shake it no more! Why you ask? if you are having pain do you do it? Are you crazy? YES! because I love it and yes, because I eat what I want which includes carbs and sugars! One of the Zumba girlies here asked me if I wanted to go to see Dr.Chen after class one day and I said yes, because I had been meaning to do it and just not gotten around to it. So, I meet Dr. Chen and he does this initial assessment by feeling pressure points, taking my pulse on both arms and just asking me what my main thing I want help for is. I told him the pain in my legs from working out. He says he can tell I accomplish whatever I put my mind to and that I am a very strong woman, that I have done great things in my life so far. Then proceeds to tell me, he thinks sometimes I have "flat" moods and that I push myself all the time, that my good energy is drained from doing this, causing me to have anxiety and stress which only makes things worse. He asks me if I crave sugar and my response is, "ALL the TIME!" and he says we can work on changing that. I'm thinking this guy is a miracle worker if that's the case because the ENTIRE Bechard side of the family is the same way! but I say to him, "my whole family is that way." He says, bring the whole family in, this is not the way it should be. He tells me there are many pressure points associated within the body and my pain in my legs is not necessarily from working out but from all the "life experiences" that I have gone through and how I have choose not to deal with them or have dealt with them. I am blocked and he can work on getting the blockages freed and that pain will go away and I will be more centered in how I am. Asks me to give him four weeks and of course I agree to it because I know accupuncture works from a time I did it when I was in Ireland in 2007 and woke up with the worst neck ache ever in my life and a trip to the accupuncturist there took away the pain! Now, I wonder if I would have gone to sessions to accupuncturist then if things would have been different now, would I have made the choices I made over the past few years? Only time will tell...

WOW!! Where did all of September go??

It's the 22nd of September already? How can that be? Didn't we just get here? Life has been busy here. Although it's a different kind of busy. My day starts every day with Zumba except on Wednesdays where I play Mahjong and then Zumba in the afternoon.

Today is a Holiday in China. It is the Mid-Autumn Festival. The Chinese celebrate by lighting off fireworks at 6:30am. They also have family reunions and eat moon cakes. From what I understand Moon cakes are the eqivalent of a fruit cake given at Christmas time at home. Asia was brave enough to try one last night and I think according to her reaction, they are nastier than fruit cake! I am not sure what kind she tried but she definitely DID NOT LIKE IT! Some have fruit filling and others have meat, nuts or salty preserved egg in them.

I tried them, did not like them, not even a little but then again, who does like them....I quietly waited until a month or so pass and threw them out in the trash when no one was looking. Mr Yang gave us two boxes and someone from Suonllen's work gave him some too...too bad you can't hold on to them and re-gift the next year! although some of them taste like they were :-)

Happy Moon Cake Holiday!

Two days of Cultural Training to Realize.....

There is so much we really do not know about other cultures. You may think you have a good understanding about other cultures but really you have NO IDEA! Why do they do the things they do and why can't they just get it together and understand what they are doing is not right??? One of the things that was drummed into me when I was a kid was to have good manners. When I was growing up, it was not uncommon for a knife to come across the knuckles at the dinner table or a fork to come stabbing at us when we were doing something that was not acceptable to my father as far as manners was concerned. Chew with your mouth shut, don't make that smacking sound, don't talk with food in your mouth, don't pick your teeth at the table, etc., etc. The things where the West and East differ goes on and on. Now I am not saying, we are perfect. I do not believe I have the best table manners if I was to be measured up to a ediquitte book but I do have what most Americans would call good manners. Please, Thank You, No Thank You...you get what I'm trying to say. We use certain common courtesy manners in the States and when you travel to other parts of the world, you quickly realize, people are NOT like in the US and we think we are way better because we do and more civilized because of it. But the eating habits are something that I do not think I will be able to ever let go of. I mean really??? do I need to hear you eating your food across the room in a busy resturant? Well, it is not uncommon to "hear" many individuals having their dinners without you even sitting next to them. I realized it when we first visited China in 2008 and I remember looking at Suonllen and saying, we are NOT going to pick up these habits. When the kids and I came to visit Suonllen in March on spring break, I noticed he had already starting making sounds when he was eating and I was like, Ahhh hell no! and he had only been here a month at that time. I made a comment to him and to the kids, WE ARE GOING TO KEEP OUR MANNERS and maybe the Chinese will learn from us? who knows...I am not going to try and explain a reason why they Chinese people eat the way they do, not really sure except to point out their set of manners are different and certain things have a higher priority than eating with their mouth closed and not making smacking sounds when they eat. That is still evident two years later as I contemplate wearing ear plugs out to dinner!

From the training today and yesterday, the main theme I got out of this two day training was that the Chinese people (in the Northeast area where we are living) are all about "Saving Face." Meaning, keeping up a good appearence and not embarassing someone where they would look bad or make them lose face. Loosing face is something that could happen very easily without a "Westerner" would even know it. Status also plays a role in how things are perceived and done. You could loose face if you loose your cool in a meeting, the Chinese may distance themselves from you because you can not control yourself in a professional role and they will do not want to be associated with someone who is not fitting in. If you are the boss, you need to somehow regain face or you will lose respect of the employees. One of the things one of the presenters said several times is, "they want a hero in their heart to follow" meaning no mistakes and a they will do anything for them. If you embarass them, it is next to impossible to get them back on your side to get them to perform for you. On the other hand, you can not praise too much or you may lose them from performing their duties for you if they feel they are perceived as doing a really good job, they do not have to work as hard and their status may have shifted above yours??. It's really complicated and after each time we had a break, we all had questions???

The Chinese have been taught to NOT to cause waves, so if you do, you will not be associated with. They are taught not to question the superiors and they WILL NOT question a superior in a meeting even if the superior is wrong and has messed up. If you ask them to do something for you, they will say they ok and it will not get done if they do not have a clue what you are asking them to do. They will not tell you they do not understand something. A Chinese person may be thirsty as crazy or hungry but will say no if you ask them if they want something. Even if you aske them a second time, No. They will not tell you outright what they want and it will take several (more than three attempts) times before they accept something from you even if they secretly need it or want it. AND basically you have to force them to take it, by putting it in their hand or in their possession. THEN they will take it. It's like, the opposite of what Rosie says in "White Man Can't Jump" We say, I'm Thirsty and someone will offer us a drink and we will take it. The Chinese will not say a thing, when you ask them if they are thirsty, they will say no over and over and over...humility-don't draw attention...but if you insist after three times and place it in their hand, they they will take it. Too many times an American will give up after asking several times not knowing this and the Chinese person really does want it but will never tell you.

The Chinese are about being in harmony with nature and being humble. They value their "ingroup" more than anything else and they will do anything for someone in their ingroup. the key to this is the relationships. Ingroups can be created by being from the same home town, going to the same school, working at a job together, anything. There is an interesting example of how it could work against you if you are not in their INGROUP. You may have one person working for you and then they have a friend working in another area(they are in the same ingroup) Say for example the person in the other area messes up, the person in your group may cover for them even though it could directly affect your group negatively because that other person is in their INGROUP and that relationship is more important than whatever their role is in the job. A job can come and go but a friend in the INGROUP can be counted on. If you are in their INGROUP: They expect you to be there for them without asking. This is very different from Americans. We hate to ask for help. If we do say need help moving, we bribe saying "hey, there will be beer and I'll buy Pizza if you could help". We hate to "OWE" anything to anyone. The interesting thing is the Chinese will not ask for help. They are all about anticipating what a friend needs or wants and you are supposed to provide it without expecting anything in return immediately. Mention you are going to be moving and a good friend in your ingroup will have a truck lined up whether it's theirs or their uncles they will borrow for you, they will line up people to help moving and do whatever is necessary because they WANT to help. Now it's not to say it's not without a price, when they need help in anyways, they will drop a hint or two and you are to know they are wanting some help or assistance with something you can directly take care of for them. It may not be a month from now, it may be a year or two, it just depends. It maybe that they are ordering books and having them shipped to you in the states, COD, expect you to pay for them and then deliver them without expecting payment for the items.(that was an example one of the presenters gave) Good Friends know that some day they may need to repay a favor. That friend repayed the presenter a year or so later when the presenter told the friend that he was going to be bringing a group of students to the hometown as the friend and the friend took it upon themselves to have his father and several others pick them up at the airport and had all kinds of activities arranged for them as well as lodging, no payment was expected and everything was taken care of. So Do not expect to get "paid back" immediately because if you do, the friendship is not that deep, the longer the time passes, the better the friendship is. We Americans hate to feel like we "owe" someone anything, we want to be free of any future obligations so we repay a perceived debt immediately, the Chinese view this as a superficial relationship.

Table manners and relationships, that is just two aspects we differ. Chinese Americans are not like Chinese Nationalists, the two presenters were "Americanized" and discussed the frustrations they feel as Chinese Americans living in China. They have it bad because they are expected to "KNOW" the Chinese way of living and doing things. It was funny to see these two guys talking about their experiences, if you closed your eyes you could not tell they were of Chinese blood, American as you and I. Some of the things they said constantly was smiling when saying something, never confront infront of someone if your Ayi or Driver makes a mistake, being polite and remain calm was the best way for us to deal with the Chinese people because no matter what we do, how we act, they are not going to change their core being of how they did things and what they valued...they were very helpful and suggesting taking one day at a time, that's what they recommended.

There were several presentations of cultural things such as tea preparation and explainations about the different kinds and how to drink them. This morning we watched as two elderly woman did a sword routine as well as a fan dance(they were also used as weapons at one time and the way these women snapped them open, I could see it!) We were shown about the regimented routines that are followed to present the flags each morning, watched some young girls tell the story of before Mao, when Mao came into power and when the "Republic" was formed and how the people rejoiced. On the first day, we met a "Master" of watercolor painting, he painted our Chinese names for us and the flowers that represented our names. I guess he had studied for 10 years so he could say he mastered three things, Tai Chi, of course and then he is also a Calligraphy Master for Chinese Symbols. The second day, we made dumplings and we were taught how to write the symbols for China and the correct way to write it using and holding the paintbrush. I was like, I got this, I'm a painter's daughter afterall. He made it look so easy when we were doing it but ours looked NOTHING like his! but he still smiled and said good job...guess he was trying to help us save face even though we were not in his ingroup which is not usually the case with the Chinese people. The Chinese feel no loyalty or moral obligation to you whatsoever if you are not in their INGROUP......

The Chinese people who were Chinese citizens and not Westerners, you could tell were very proud to tell their culture to us and wanted us to understand why they are the way they are. They are also very intersted in us and understanding why we do things the way we do. Learning the language is a major plus even if you show a little bit of knowledge and it's wrong. They are happy you are trying and will give a little more, be a little more friendly on the surface but it takes a lot of trust and good will on our parts if we wanted to get into their graces and their INGROUP...so my goal, not piss anyone off and try and be the American they want in their INGROUP at least for a little while....

MONDAY MISSION: Mahjong Table and to the tailor for a Duvet

Monday my friend Linda and I had planned to go to pick up a Mahjong table for me where she had bought one for her when she first arrived in China. Linda has an AMAZING driver, David-his American name, who is basically her right hand in China. She admits it freely that he is her "Chinese Husband" because she relies him so much. He helps her do all her shopping and negotiates for her and does just about everything. My husband had told her that he loved her Mahjong table and wanted one someday. Well, it was my job now that I was here to find out her source so we could get one. In China, it is all about who you know to get the deals and how to get the same deal as the person you know. There are some Americans who do not grasp this concept and pay the price which is driving up prices in many things. I have already told you about the Ayi thing, which I ended up very happy in the end with what I am paying and my Ayi. Ask around, find out who's paying what and go with someone their Ayi knows if they are happy with their Ayi and the price is what you want to pay...Anyways back to the Mahjong table. I had no idea my husband even knew how to play Mahjong, but then again if he didn't it would be a shame since he is 1/4 Chinese and he should be a natural at it right? All I could think about was those REALLY late nights in the dorms in Buffalo when the Chinese Nationalist Students would cook all night and play all night in the lounges and I remember thinking, WTH??? Now I look back and think So many things you are exposed to when you are growing up and may not even realize later in life, that could have come in handy if I would have learned it then....Well, now I have played the game and it is so much fun so I asked Linda to ask David where they bought theirs so we could go and buy one.

Now the cultural training class I attended today has shed some light on the way the Chinese do things. Here is an example on relationships here:
Person A may need something that Person B has access to by knowing Person C, if Person A contacted person C, C might help but more than likely, won't because Person C does not know Person A. But if Person B calls and asks Person C for help for Person B, Person C will do it without thinking twice because Person B is asking and that is how they show they care about each other is by doing things for you even if it means helping your friends but they are not doing it to help your friends but for you. It's a pretty cool intricate way of doing things. Now in this case, David would have done it if I would have called him because we have met and he's a REALLY nice guy, he helps a lot of people who call him to have him to talk to their driver, etc. He's just a great guy...David went one step further and WENT to the place and began to negotiate on our behalf for us! There was also two other American families that wanted a table so he negotiated for three of us and was able to get the price down from 1650RMB to 1050RMB. Linda paid 800RMB when she got here but when we asked about the price and why it had gone up so much, we were told the workers are demanding more wages and because the demand for the tables had gone up, they basically were getting the bigger price. Well, HELLO? again, I was very grateful David was able to negotiate the price for us to where it was,negotiating is more than almost all the battle!

When we went to order the table, Linda and I tried a little harder to get the price down some more. But in the end we were only able to get it down another 50RMB. The sales lady said she was going to give it to us for 1000RMB since we were buying three. I was ok with the raise in price because I do know that the Chinese are starting to protest the low wages and the rich here are getting really rich off of the workers and they are finally starting to try and excert themselves because they want computers now and cell phones and many outfits instead of just one, you know like we Americans and the rich in this country. And really, it was really not that much more in American $ (I am going to be careful to stay out of this way of thinking because to to often that is the problem we Americans do, thinking it's only.....X amount of dollars so we pay it-this increasing the costs of things here but for the Chinese it's a lot of money and the regular Chinese person may have to go without because of us just paying it!) So in all and all I am a proud owner of this beautiful hardwood table(looks like Cherrywood but I am sure isn't but it is solid) only cost us $131 with four arm chairs with the table having drawers for the chips and a place for you to put your drink, it really is gorgeous and who cares that we paid 200RMB more than Linda? I guess I am ok with that... but boy was that fast? we were in and out of there in an hour and they were going to call us when the tables came in so we could come and pick it up. Mr. Yang was going to have to follow David to take care of this for me since I would be in class all day on Tuesday. David said he would explain to Mr. Yang when it was time to go. So we had decided to go to the tailor so we could have our Duvets made out of the silk I had found earlier. I needed to find some corresponding silk to border this panel I had bought that was decorated with Dragons, Phoenix birds, Flowers and regular birds on it as it would be the center of my duvet. I thought ahead too and got a second panel exactly the same so I could have matching pillow shams made in both King size and also European size so the bed would look really custom and luxurious. I had a vision in my head and was super excited to go for it! I bought this fabric when I was here in March on spring break and decided to wait to make sure I got what I wanted. Linda told me she knew of a place in don tay sure(not correct spelling but that's how it sounds when you say it so that how I am going to write it,ok?) so that is where we headed next. Linda and I went in and I was not able to find any cooresponding silk I liked and asked if we could go to the place were I bought the panels(because I had seen some there but was unsure of how much to buy, meters vs. yards and all!) so after a brief hesitation and an unsuccessful attempt to negotiate on her behalf there on something she purchased-Long story and I swore to Linda NEVER to tell but you can guess about buying an item and then having MAJOR buyers remorse when you realize....., Linda agreed and told David he was going to have to help us and come in when we got downtown to help with the Duvet ordering. I had already drawn up pictures with anticipating that I was not going to be able to communicate in words to who ever was going to make my duvet. I had the measurements in inches and Linda told me to convert to centimeters which I did before we got to Archie Square. This place is where all things can be made and sewn. Suits, lined including a shirt, pants and jacket for 300RMB, that is less than $50 for a custom suit!!! Linda had a cotton duvet made when she first got to China for 50RMB. I was not expecting the price to be that low since I had silk, much harder to work with, and also it had to be sewn into one big piece from the panel and then bordered and then the bottom of the duvet was going to be a solid piece of cotton so it would not slip all over the bed like silk does.

We finally arrive and find the fabric section of the building. I easily found the spot once we were on the right floor and pass right by the lady that I bought the panels from. She recognized me and smiled at me and I smiled back but walked right by her and she watched me go two spaces away from her. You see, after I bought the panels, we walked a few spaces down and this other lady showed me the same panels and told me here price which was lower off the bat! We did buy some silk from her then but not a lot, my friends bought for dresses and I was too pissed about the panels but I told her that I would come back to her for the border silk because she gave me a good price when I asked. The other lady I bought from before I came to this lady, I had to haggle with for quite some time(and I was with other Americans who just paid, ya know what I mean?) so when this lady told me her price and it was lower than what I paid, I knew I would come back to here for future purchases. So here I was almost four months later and she recognized me as I brought out the panel to start matching coordinating fabric too. She smiled at me and I smiled back and winked at her. Linda was wanting the same panels as me so she got out what she had. Linda purchased two different panels so she could have a duvet made for her and her daughter. BEAUTIFUL panels and she paid even less than I did and what the price she had quoted me when I was there in March. 60RMB less! I was happy Linda was getting a good deal even though I paid more because I had gotten a good deal on the table because of Linda's past purchase and her drivers negotiating skill so it was all good. We also purchased some additional silk and asked the lady if she knew someone who would sew the duvets, she didn't but if she did we would have used them because she was far and honest with us. So, we then began to look for fabric for the underneath....well, after looking, finding somehthing, and then being floored at the prices, we decided we needed a different strategy. We headed for the bedding tailors. I had almost had it and did not know if I would make it through another 15 minutes! We found that section of the building and asked the first woman we saw who had duvets dispalyed. David at this time had just about had it by now too, he does not enjoy shopping but does it to help Linda. The two of us went to work explaining what I wanted. I used my pictures, I used the tie on my shorts to show I wanted ties instead of a zipper and I used my phone, I would have used just about anything that would have helped after almost two and a half hours of dealing with fabric and measurements and trying to do it in MANADRIN!!! which I speak none except for thank you fluently... After we had explained everything and we were able to talk price. Grant it at this time, I would have paid 200 million dollars just to be done! not really but you get my point of where I was at mentally, spent! All in all, duvet was going to be155RMB and the 5 pillow shams being 25RMB each I wanted(all bordered and two with different fabric to give contrast) for labor and the plain fabric included on the back. We were done! Whooooo hooooo Linda was paying it and out the door before I could even do the math in my head and see if I wanted to try and haggle but who was I kidding, I was not in any condition to haggle at that point in time. My headache I had woke up with was back and with a vengenance! so here is the break down. Silk panels for me (180RMB ea=360RMB) for Linda (2 @ 120RMB) coordinating fabric for me 250RMB (w/extra for pillows) total cost to make the duvet and pillow shams was going to be 890RMB for me. Linda was having two duvets made with no pillows and she was paying 950RMB she was too tired to think about buying two more panels and more fabric for pillows and said she's deal with it later...so for $131.29 dollars I am getting a custom King duvet made with 100% silk and cotton backing with three Euro shams and two King size shams. Linda is getting two King size duvets for $140.14 dollars, again silk hand made. I can hardly wait the 10 days it's going to take this woman to make all of that, can you imagine, just ten days!!

Although it was a L-O-N-G process of getting all the materials, finging the right people, I know it's going to be worth it in the end. I know I could have probably bought an already made one here maybe a little cheaper but I was able to choose the pattern of the panel, choose the coordinating silks, and have this experience I will always remember when I am snuggling into my bed back in the states when we go home. When I get it, I'll post a picture and you all can tell me if it was worth it and then maybe I'll take orders!

Sick in China but life still goes on...

Ok so for the past two days I have been sleeping....Seriously sleeping in bed for 48 hours. I had a cold and thought it was going away but then the day after my massage I was so achey. I thought it was from the massage but then even my ankles and my forearms hurt and the massage was not that rough in those areas so Sunday I spent the whole day sleeping. Suonllen and Asia took a trip to the massage place and Javi played video games while I slept. The next think I knew, Suonllen was getting ready to go to bed, it was 9:45 at night! So I ate something and went back to bed within the hour. Monday, I planned on doing the same thing as sunday. The only time I got up was to go potty and eat a little something. So, when the Ayi came, she looked at me like, "what's up? why you still in bed?" so I got out my handy dandy picture book and pointed to cold. "Ah ah ah" she said as she left me by myself. I was grateful to have the Ayi because I knew dinner would be made for the kids and Suonllen and I could continue to stay in bed.

Today, however, I am feeling much better and have decided to prepare for the Ayi's visit today. I need to communicate with her that I want her to clean the bathrooms, the floors of the showers, the sides of the toilets, everything! I am not sure how I am going to do this but I am thinking of starting with some simple printed out symbols in Manadrin for her to read since my Chinese is next to nothing.

This seems to be the best way for me to communicate with the non english speaking people. When I try to speak Manadrin, they look at me like I am speaking english to them so some times it's just better to use the translator...

I should have taken the sign of the thunder clouds rolling in...

Thursday 8/19/2010....was the day my new Ayi was coming for the first time. The only major thing I wanted to get accomplished the first day was showing her what we liked for dinners and taste her cooking for the first time. I had texted Mr. Yang and told him to hold on to the papers printed out by my husband for me in both English and Manadrin in the morning after he got to work since our printer is STILL not set up. Sidenote: It took Suonllen a week from when it was delivered to start to unpack the box, but hey, the Wii is more important when you have a 9 year old boy bugging you every second he's awake to get it unlocked and set up so he can play the 50 million games you can buy 3 for 10 RMB! Seriously, can't you chill and play the XBox??? That was handled this past weekend on Saturday...see the blog for more details on how AWESOME it is for gamers here in China! Anyways then after we finally do get the box unpacked, there are electrical problems in the room we are setting it up in. Javier came running into the room one day saying, "Daddy just got SHOCKED!!! there was sparks and everything mom! He tried like three times to get the computer to work and each time he plugged it into the surge protector, it blew!! It was kinda cool but I don't think Daddy is going to work on it anymore tonight..." AAHHHHH, T.I.C. so I had to wait for the repair guy from the staff at the complex to come and try and make it work right...turned out it was just the surge protector? Damn, American plugs! but wait, it was made in China!!! just laugh it off and realize, THIS IS CHINA and it will get fixed and set up when it's time for it to happen, so stop trying to make things happen! they happen when they are ready...hence, Suonllen had to print out my VERY detailed "Duties and Job Descriptions" that outlined what was expected of our new Ayi. I was so on it! I took this suggestion to make sure I am very detailed in telling her what I want done and how, even down to having different colors of cleaning rags for different rooms. We do not want a rag used on a toilet to then be used on the kitchen counter do we? Well, according to a few other Intel Ladies of Leisure, that had been done. So I took all the information I gathered from ALL the other ILOL and wrote it all up two nights before she was to start so Suonllen could print out both copies so in case she did not understand what I had written, I could look at my version and then try to do charades or translator or something to explain what I was trying to say. BUT all good plans do not always work out. Wednesday, Suonllen had been so busy at work, he did not even open the email I sent to see to print it out. So of course I told him, PLEASE do not forget to do in on Thursday am and send it back with Mr. Yang so I can have it when Ms. Ping comes. Suonllen says, "Can you remind me?"and my loving reply was, "Ahhhh, NO! that is why I sent it at three o'clock in the morning on WEDNESDAY!! because I was doing it then and knew I would not remember to ask you to print it out! I figured it would be first thing in your inbox in the am"...my hubby who is trying so hard not to freak out on me since he has had time to adjust to China and I have not just said,"Ok, I'll figure it out." Anyone who knows my husband, I was kinda ready to rumble after my smart ass remark but no, not this time.... That poor husband of mine, has not time to even open emails until the afternoon on some days, so he sent himself a alarm on his phone to remind himself and that's how we had the papers this morning when Mr. Yang texted at 8:15a? telling me he had them. I told him to take a break and come back at 1:45, Ms. Ping was coming at 2 and we would need to go shopping. THANK GOODNESS FOR TEXTING! he said, "Ok" and communicating with a translation program on the phone has brought Mr. Yang and I to a little bit of understanding and some times some humor... I was gathering my stuff up to leave and at 1:50 there was a knock at the door. of course it was Ms. Ping, ontime is early here for work and I was of course running late dreading the rain that was pooring down. BUT what I learned in Oregon goes the same here in China. If you do not go out in the rain, the days are going to pass you by. This morning of course it was BEAUTIFUL outside! Sunny and shining bright, I could see across the bay and see parts of Dalian that you usually can not see because of fog. I was a little dismayed when all of a sudden, the room was dark I was sitting in and when I looked at the window, the storm clouds were moving so fast it actually looked like a movie where they speed up the clouds to show the dramatic effect of a storm and passing time. I swear it looked EXACTLY like that at 1:30 and I took it as a sign of impending doom...ok, I didn't but it did cross my mind to have her just clean and forgo dinner tonight. NO, Let's do this! She said my name, ALMOST PERFECTLY! you could tell she had been practicing the past to days! I of course complimented her and thanked her for saying it right! Ms. Ping had noticed three boxes that were stacked with packing papers and such that I had unpacked this morning and she pointed at them and said something to me in Manadrin, "ok, you help me take them down?" No, she wanted to take all by herself. Again, still having a hard time letting people do things for me, I let her take one, but she grabbed the second one and I dragged the biggest one to the elevator, but not leaving with out my manadrin survival book and my phone. We were on our way...

Left the boxes out in the rain by the trash bins and ran to the van for shelter. We ran to the car and I told Mr. Yang where we needed to go and we were on our way. It was really coming down! the first stop was Sunny's and I decided to show my Ayi a few things that we bought from this import store. She did her best to pay attention and look at the labels of the things I showed but because I did not buy them(I had already had most of those items) I was not sure it was understood that if I needed those items, those are the specific brands I wanted. Oh well, on to the Butcher. I wanted to pick up some Pork, Chicken and Beef and Shrimp. I should have brushed up on measurements, they do not use pounds here but kilos. Did I pay attention in math class on the unit about conversions? UH, no...at that time I never thought I would leave AZ, kinda like learning Spanish. I learned it to pass the class and then quickly forgot it and now when I am with the husband's family, I am ACTUALLY quiet because they are all speaking Spanish!. Anyways, it took about a half an hour at the butcher. So frustrating for both me and my Ayi as well as Mr. Yang who came it at one point to find out what was taking so long! We then went to the JinMa for fruits and veggies, and Shrimp. That last item at the JinMa made me nervous. This is the place where they have no refrigeration for the meats...no WAY! but when we got to the market, the shrimp were still moving so they had to be fresh, right?? I told the Ayi it was ok to buy with heads, just no cook or eat with heads! not sure if that translation went through, we'll see when she cooks them for us. All in All shopping was EXHAUSTING!!! it took about 2.5 hours! and I decided then, I was going to give money to the Ayi and let her shop and cook what she wanted. It was not worth the time to try and micromanage where and what she used for our dinners. Next time I'm gonna send her with Mr. Yang and hope for the best! At least until I start taking Chinese classes again and I can get a few words out to say what I want! We got home and the Ayi immediately started cooking, and let me tell you, it was good! Thank Goodness! Suonllen even commented saying her cooking was good. I am not sure if I should be upset or relieved. HE ALWAYS has something to say on how it could be better when I cook and that's why I stopped cooking. But he had nothing to say with her except her rice was a little watery...that I can live with and I think he could too! Now, just have to start explaining how I like things cleaned when she starts cleaning....oh but there is always another day!

Today was a day of I did it(s)!

First, I taught my first Zumba class all by MYSELF! So what if there was only one student in the class and she was the very first friend I made in China. Thank GOD I did I did it with her first before I have a whole class full of people. There were several songs I thought I knew very well but when it came down to doing it today, I came up several times with blanks. Jenelle was patient and loved every minute of my attempts at the song before I would say, ummm lets do a different one, I can not remember it for the life of me! I wanted to do my teachers justice in presenting their routines and hoped the fun of it all came through and according to Jenelle, it did. At one point, when I was changing music, another Intel wife, I did not know, asked her what she was doing and with me and Jenelle told her a trial run for a class I am going to teach. Un-named Intel wife said she would want to come and to tell her when it was on for real. I am going to check with the Shama (where Jenelle lives and where we did the class today about using their room at least two days a week since so many of the families live there and then check with the Inn fine gym about using their room too. I am so excited I have many Ladies of Leisure telling me they will come, guess I just need to do it! And today I did it!
 
After, Jenelle and I talked about the things that are different in China over lunch, besides the obvious. Waitresses, for example. will wait and wait and wait patiently for you to look over the menu and decide on what you want before leaving your table. Jenelle and I ordered our drinks and had to ask the waitress to go AND get them so we could have more time looking at the menu without her standing behind us. It's a little un-nerving when you are so used to being rushed in and out of a restaurant so the server can turn the table to make more money. In China, NO TIPPING. The servers do the job they were hired for or they don't work, it’s great! We talked about some things she learned the hard way such as no heads, guts or feet! The majority of the population is poor in China and they eat everything! So she had to tell her Ayi to buy the best meats, not to worry about the costs of the good meats but to still get the best price. Guess that was a fun conversation to try and explain and communicate effectively.
 
Janelle took me to a second butcher choice after I told her Linda had taken me to the butcher the other day. The second butcher had chicken breasts fresh and you could buy only what you needed. The reason why we talked so much about food, I was meeting with a friend of Janelle’s Ayi later at 2p...round two of interview. We were going to have a person from the Shama help us by translating for us. That, I have to say, is one benefit of living in a building of service apartments within a hotel. The staff usually speaks English and when you get into a bind, they can call in your food order or tell someone how to come and get you or in my case, tell a maid what I want her to do if she is going to work for me. After stopping quickly at the second butcher and getting a "card" that is in both Mandarin and Korean (because it’s on Korean street), we hurried back to the Shama to meet the next prospect for our Ayi. Why a business card for a butcher you ask? Or at least were thinking? So I could give it to the Ayi and tell her where to buy our meats. Do you remember the pictures of the food markets where the food was laying out and not refrigerated? Well, I do NOT want my foods bought there! I will be giving my Ayi a card so she knows where to go to buy the food for our family.
 
Finally, we met with Ms. Li, Jenelle’s Ayi, Ms. Huan Ling (my prospective Ayi) and a representative from the Ayi Company, Ms. Jin Lin Shu. Her job was to help negotiate on behalf of the Ayi and make sure the duties are clearly outlined so there is no confusion. But then when I thought about that, I was confused. I did not speak or read Mandarin and the paperwork was and all of the conversations were in Mandarin! Who was there to represent me? Ah, the Shama guy…He agreed to translate for us. Thank goodness! We talked about all the duties, hours, and all that the job entailed and then came the negotiating the salary. They asked what I would pay and I asked what she would like. “Ok, you pay what you want if she is good, you pay more if she is not, you pay less” That’s what was said to me when he asked her the question I posed. NO, I want to have a price agreed on; we’ll do a three month contract and then look at the possibility of a raise then. We then talked about more duties; both Jenelle and I brought the conversation back to the pay. Finally after talking about it being part time and only four hours a day(after she said she did not want to work past 6p because of her son-hey, I get it, I have kids-ok, no biggie) we agreed on hours and she said she would like the job. Hello?? We still have not talked about pay nor have you seen our apartment? Ok, Pay. How about 1000RMB? For part time work? No, how about 800RMB (I was able to find out what another woman is paying her PT Ayi and this was a little more because we talked about the Ayi’s getting more because other people are paying it) so my plan was between 800RMB and 900RMB. But you know me, when she countered at 900 RMB, I said 850RMB and after the 3 month contract, I would go up to 900RMB if she did a good job. We talked some more, I still do not know if she’s agreed or not but then they asked me again to sign a contract? I asked about the rate, yeah, 850RMB was good and yeah they would like to see the house. We went to see Mr. Yang, me alone with three Chinese women who talked so fast, I could not make out one single sound! So I did what I do when I am with Suonllens’ family and they are speaking Spanish, I zoned out and did not even hear the sounds…Mr. Yang joined in on the conversation during the ride to the HaiFu from the Shama and as far as I know, he could have been saying all kinds of shit about me and my family but I did not care, I was that much closer to getting my Ayi. Ms. Ping seemed really nice and was smiling so she was ok with me so far! So when we got to the HaiFu, Mr. Yang said, I wait” and I said, “Yes”. We proceeded to get my bag and my boom box out of the back of the van and they three skinny as can be Chinese women carried my stuff, taking it out of my hands. It’s still takes me awhile to feel comfortable with this and I am not sure if I will but then I’ll be in big trouble when I go back to the US and I do not have a Ms. Ping or a Ms. Shu who wants me to hire one of them so they both can get paid…
 
Up in the apartment I showed them around, Ms.Li looked relieved she did not have to clean the house, it’s QUITE a bit bigger than the three bedroom apartment at the Shama. I showed the spices I had, the dishes and cooking equipment as well as the dishwasher and sanitizer for the dishes. All seemed ok with what I had, I asked Ms. Li to tell Ms. Ping if she did not see what she might need that we could go shop on Thursday to get anything that Ms. Ping would need. The other Ayi was pretty concerned with that sort of thing and Ms. Ping didn’t seemed to care one way or another. I showed the bathroom which she was to use, as well as the washer and dryer that was conveniently located in her bathroom! No, I did not plan it that way! Javier uses that bathroom too, the other downstairs bathroom is in Asia’s room and if she is in her room and doesn’t want to be bothered, Javi’s bathroom is just fine. We were going to sit down to do the contract but then the three decided the Shama would be better, the translator was there after all! So we all were going back out side when we started talking about names. Why is it, ethnic people can not say “Michelle” we tried several times to get them all to be able to pronounce it and ended up giving up having her call me Lee. They tried some more in the car, Mr. Yang was able to say it and they all cheered! I said my in laws could not say Me-shell either but they did not get it but I laughed…Too funny! After we were back at the Shama, the contract was signed and it was explained, we were done after two hours of when it began. I seriously was WIPED out!! And made sure they knew it by my best charades of sighing and wiping the fake sweat off my brow! All three of them laughed and helped me out of the elevator and to the car! I rode home in silence with Mr. Yang and then called Suonllen. Told him of all that had happened and the price we were playing, he was like, “you liked her that much?” HELL YES! The price is right and she smiled many times when we had the language issue, I can see a LOT of that happening in the future and if she can laugh and get through it with me, then its all good!”  At this point, I ask myself, “WHO CARES IF SHE CAN COOK OR IF SHE KEEPS A CLEAN HOUSE??? I AM DONE, I DID IT!!!”

Look Out Weekend cause HERE I COME!! because weekends are made for fun!

Friday and I plan on doing some Zumba, gotta get ready to show the girls here what it's all about! The I planned on meeting Virginia for lunch. That was my Friday planned but you and I both know that things do not always go to plan. The kids started school on Wednesday and I told Javier on Tuesday, "you have to remember your lunch each day it's not like the school is across the street like it was in AZ" then Javi replied, "I know mom, I will!" Guess what Javi did today???yep, Forgot his lunch and his water bottle. I texted Mr. Yang that I needed him back to pick me up at 9:30 because I needed to take Javi his lunch and then I would have about a half an hour or so before I would meet Virginia. I knew I would not get in and get out without talking to a few people so I gave myself a half an hour in the school. So I got there at 9:50a whoooo hooooo ten minutes ahead of schedule, met someone on the way out of the school who noticed me bringing a lunch and then we struck up a converstation. No longer ahead of schedule but it was worth it, she was very nice and now I know on Fridays, there is a weekly coffee at Campus Village so next week I need to plan to come. Went inside, asked where Javi's room was. I walked up quietly and slowly so I could see what was up. The teacher saw me as Javi did and he walked right over to me. I introduced myself and she introduced me to the class so she could get them all back on track after the excitement of meeting the new kids mom? Anyways, Javi seemed grateful I made the track to bring him his food, he is not into school lunches unless they look like they should, you know what I mean??

So I was off and headed for birthday gift shopping before I met Virginia for some lunch. Mr Yang and I went looking for toys, one gift for a Reece who seems to be Javier's twin brother from another mother and one for his sweet little sister who just ADORES Asia and Asia loves her as well. So as I get my phone out to tell Mr. Yang we need to look for toys, he has this puzzled look on his face like, How the heck do I know where to get toys lady??? So he does the best he can talking to me and figuring out by calling someone to talk to me but the toys we find are tai gui la(to expensive!) T.I.C. For goodness sake, should the toys be abundant?? EVERYTHING is made here. So I spoke to Linda, she told me where to go but then communicating it to Mr. Yang was a whole other ball game. Finally, Virginia called me and saved my day!We were going to meet for lunch and then she would help me find some gifts. It turns out one of the places Mr. Yang and I went into was the Kai Fa Qu Market Linda told me to go to but I didn't know it or go to the right place in the actual market.

I was pretty tired when I met with Virginia for lunch even though the day had just started really? So we decided to go to lunch first and what did I have to eat you ask? That's right, dumplings baby! But this place was new to me and they also had the spicy green beans, yummy! Jackpot, so I told Virginia what I wanted and she took care of business! WOW!!! Is her Manadrin amazing or what? She understood what they said to her and she replied back like a pro! I thanked her for letting me just dump my order on her like that and then we just chilled and talked about her life experiences in Dalian. She told me to tell people I was a teacher when I'm am shopping and that the driver is not a driver but a boyfriend and that we live in green town. All of these things combined would make the locals give better prices! Ok, mental note of that for when I do start negotiating on my own. The said she has had a lot of people want to take pictures with her, natural strawberry blonde hair and very tall draws some attention but she keeps a good attitude about it and I kinda admired her for it. I told her of our few times that people had taken our pictures because of Javi with his green eyes and blonde hair and a few times we have been mistaken for Russians. Suonllen reported that he did not have this issue of picture taking before we came, guess the kids and I are Rockstars!! Haha Asia feels left out some but understands this culture is all about the boys and with light eyes AND blonde hair, Javi is going to get attention just like he did in the D.R. The first time we took him there. We finished our lunch and decided to head out to get the toys and the chips for the party I said I would pick up...

By the time, Virginia and I found the toys, we began the game of "Let's try to not pay too much and get a deal instead" We found a really cute princess Lego-like toy but the lady wanted way to much money and would not budge. I was told after we walked out of there, Virginia has never been able to get a "deal" or even a sense of a deal from that lady so I made a mental note NOT to go back there. I have no problem paying a fair price but not more than everyone else just because "I am a round eye". So we finally found the toys that were suitable and I just knew Javi would ask me if I got him the same thing I got Reece because that's Javier. I picked up a Disney princess purse for Alana and a Lego-like toy of a tank with little guys included in it, all for about $20...nice, birthday gift budget in AZ, $25 a gift but because T.I.C., two for $20 and I probably STILL paid too much but at least the sales people worked with us, acted wounded when we haggled, even though they were still making some money, and we all walked away feeling good about the transaction...

Virginia took me to a section of the Jin Ma Market I had never been into before and I was able to buy some chips. Granted, I had to buy six bags to make up one regular size bag in the states. Virginia showed me a few local favorites that can pass door American brand chips because they are just as good so I picked up a couple of those too for the kids to try. They are a LOT cheaper than the Lays and if they taste the same then, hey, why not make our spending money stretch even farther. The markets here are amazing, I mean it, really AMAZING!!! You can fine pretty much anything you want. For example, "Nikn" slippers, Sports Jerseys printed wrong but you still pay a high price because "they best quality" and of course any kind of food you never wanted to try or even thought was a food in the first place? Now after going to this section of the Jin Ma, I am even more confused where is the best place to shop. But am grateful to Virginia for helping me get the items I needed and still have time to spare before I had to go pick up the kids before the party. So what did we do? why, a taste of home...Dairy Queen Blizzard! Now, at home I NEVER ate DQ but V and I made our way. We chatted some more about life and how things are so different and no matter how much preparation you do, you still a not prepared for the things you see and experience but again, T.I.C...

Birthday party turned into night out after the party. It was catered by "Eddie's" and we had the Chinese version of Mexican food and it kinda made me make a mental note to smuggle back into this country some good salsa or the makings to make good salsas next time I am home. But it was good and went down...We all went out dancing afterwards, Jenelle's Ayi, Ms.Li stayed late and our kids stayed there to hang out as well. It was nice to be able to hang with our friends and not have to worry about who's driving home. This could be a problem to from what I understand and one can easily overdo it because of that. I had a few and then called it quits, I was afraid if I had had any more, I would have passed out! Really??? From what I did today you ask? Yeah, pretty much! Communicating is exhausting!!

So on Saturday the 14th, we decided to take a little trip to Electonic City. An underground HAVEN for gamers and techy types! We had Suonllen's first generation iPhone that Asia had been using that had a cracked screen and we thought if we could get it fixed, with would be fixed for cheapest there! I tried to get it fixed in the states and was told, it would be cheaper for you to buy a 3GS then fix that. We also wanted to get the Wii unlocked so we could get all the games that were possible by simply downloading them from the game place to a hard drive and then Javi would be able to play all he wanted AND we could also download additional games as they came and if we wanted them. Gotta Love CHINA, it's all ok here! So we went to our regular game place where games are three for 10RMB and they were happy to see us. Of course they get the stools out for us to sit and wait while they are busily taking care of our business. Suonllen asked them about the iPhone and although they do not work on phones, they promptly took the phone over to someone they trusted and handled that for us. For unlocking the Wii, all the games, a external hard drive, 6 more Xbox games and fixing the iPhone, it was only 1400RMB which is about $206.53. We were pretty happy with that and they also gave us ice cream while we waited. Asia and I went and looked for cases for the our phones while the boys stayed there the whole time, they played video games of course. We were able to find a case for Asia and then one for Javi's phone and when it was 5RMB more than Asia's I asked the girl who spoke English very well if she was giving me the best price and she said she was and that Javi's case was more expensive because apple is not making the accessories any more because it's the first generation phone and they want everyone to upgrade and it's hard to get the parts and things to go with that phone. Isn't that the American way? Don't fix it, just buy a new one. We are trying to get away from that but it's very difficult when companies are making it more and more difficult to do so. Look, we had to wait until we were in China to have the phone fixed, because in the USA it would have "cost more than the phone was worth" but now it only cost us about $50 to fix it here and if we would have had to buy a new phone, that would have cost us $300, how is that cheaper? Glad we were here and we actually came out ahead of it all only spending the $206 on everything.

On our way out, we decided to look at some portable boom boxes. Because of our great savings, we decided to look for a boom boxes. I had checked out the system at one of the gyms and there was no system? and the second gym did not have an iPod plug that I could see. i had told Suonllen when he was home, I wanted to get a box just in case so I could travel with tunes to teach Zumba because at that time, I was not sure what the gyms had for playing music. I tried several times to buy one before we left the states but the one I wanted was sold out. I actually ordered it online four times when the venders said they had it in stock but each time was told it was back ordered! Electronics are more expensive in China even though most of them are made here. The whole inport/export tax thing I don't completely understand makes buying in China more expensive. With our little savings we had made with the phone and Wii, we were "just looking" and of course, the first place we stopped had a harmon karmon portable box. It was not one that I had researched but I was familiar with the brand, GOOD SOUND AND GOOD REPUTATION! They wanted like a rediculas amoung of RMB for it and I told Suonllen it would be anywhere from $300 to $350 for it back in the States. Suonllen threw out a number to them not really caring if they took it or not. They went and got the manager and he tried to get Suonllen to come up in price but we of course had no intention of buying it unless they came down so we said no. We were getting ready to leave and then they agreed to our price. We eneded up paying $380 which if we would have bought it back in the states, with tax, that's what we would have paid. So although we did not save any money there, we did not pay more than what we would have in states which we were ok with...

We were not planning on such big purchases and had one more stop to make. Ikea...thank Goodness they take cards! but we ended up using the last bit of our cash there and head home after eating some meatballs and potatoes...ahhhh, some home food to end a great day of shopping! life is good here in China!

Sunday, ahhhh what do we do on Sundays here? why Massages of course. Really all I can say is we all got one and we ALL enjoyed it. I tried something different other than the 2 hour fully body and foot massage at the suggestion of Suonllen who said, " You gotta try it at least once so you know what you are missing or not" So I decided on the 90 minute oil massage. Not as intense as the Chinese massage but still supposedly as relaxing. I did like but it something about it made me not enjoy it as much. The same guy that always does my massages did my oil massage too so I was not unconfortable because I was still wearing the little shorts and tie shirt they give you to change into but it just did not do it for me. Grant it, it still knocked me out for the rest of the day and I had to nap when we got home but I did not feel I got as much out of it as I do the Chinese massage. So, Next time I will be doing "regular". I am ususally a creature of habit when it comes to certain things and it makes some people crazy. BUT when it comes to eating out at resturants regularly, I usually order the same thing. That way you are not disappointed when your meal comes. If you find something you love, why you gotta mess with it? You're not boring because you're not trying something new, you're SMART because you have identified what you like and are not afraid to do it over and over again without caring what anyone thinks....The same is going to be true for me now with massages as well as resturants now. When they seem me coming you will here me saying, "I'll take the regular please" as a a matter of fact, I have been here so much do I really need to tell you what I want?" I think not.... and that is the way I roll here in China, no different than back in the states!

Shopping all by myself...well, kinda! and Ayi interviewing....

This morning(Thursday) I had to go and apply for our resident permits so we would be legal and not get thrown out of the country. The kids were in school so I took their passports with me so I could take care of them too and not pull them out of school. It was only their second day after all! So I met Mr. Yang down stairs and called Mr. Lee(no relation, of course,) so he could tell Mr. Yang where to take me sine I had not a clue! Mr. Lee works for Santa Fe who basically does all the "stuff" to keep you legal and make your transition easier when moving to China, they handle all of Intel's relo stuff here... So I met Mr.Lee and noticed their was an Indian couple with their two kids also with Mr.Lee. Of course the kids were young and antsy and it reminded me of not to long ago when Asia and Javi were wild children, what like last week??? Anyways, we struck up a conversation and yep, just as I thought, they were from Intel too. I was surprised when I saw their American passports because of the thick Indian accent they both had, just goes to show you can never tell! That's the great nation of ours! Anyways, the officer took me first and I was out if there in a half an hour! WOW! Thanks to me not having the kids with me, I got done first and had all kinds of time until I needed to be home.

I decided I was going to brave the market by myself! Well, almost, I decided to ask Mr. Yang to come with me. He kinda looked at me a little puzzled when he handed me the bags to shop and I said, "you come with me". And he said, "ah ok". So we were off and I was on a mission to find tortillas. Thank Goodness there are some Mexican American families here and have paved the way for us so we can get tortillas and get our Mexican food craving met, even if it is only a quesadilla! But hey, that is staple for Javi and his diet and I did not lug 30lbs of cheese back from Hawaii for nothing! Yes, you read that right, 30 POUNDS!!! and I am glad to say, I did it. Yes, you can get chedder cheese here but it's pretty pricey! There are a few places that are carrying it now and the price has come down a little but still, I LOVE CHEESE and could not imagine giving that up completely and I'm not willing to go into the poor house to get my fix ok? ANYWAYS, back to the shopping. So with several calls to Suonllen to get the appoximate location of the vendor who sells the tortillas, I started my hunt. Mr. Yang watched me intently as I scanned the place, tried to decide which was the back left corner that Suonllen described. Forgot to ask, which way did you come in? so it took several trips to the corners and on the third one, I found them!!! ahhhhhhh( can you hear the ding ding ding bell sound going on right now???) I had Mr. Yang ask, how much because even though I started Manadrin classes at home, twice! I still could not remember how to ask that simple question. I was told 15RMB, which is a little over $2 for a package, GREAT DEAL as far as I was concerned! I did not even try and talk down the price. One thing I have learned is EVERYTHING is negotiable in China! I figured since Mr. Yang asked the price, maybe they give him the good price from the start? (REMEMBER this when you read about my converstation with Virginia that is coming up...)

So I decided to try to get a few more things so I could plan a meal or two in case it takes a little longer to get an Ayi than I want it to. Planning on meeting and interviewing one today after the market. Theresa is bringing over her Ayi and Viriginia's driver to translate for the one who wants to work for us who is related to one of them? So I purchased a few things from a woman that smiled at me as I was walking by and her tomatoes looked really good compared to the one I bought the other day. I actually ended up buying all of the fruits and veggies from her and the more I bought, the better the price got. I think I am going to keep going back to her as long as I do not feel that she's trying to charge an arm and a leg like the lady behind her(we bought from her my last trip and have decided now, we got screwed!) I do know how to say "too much!" now and will walk away because more than likely you can get the same thing, of the same quality if not better, another isle away! so I felt accomplished that morning and decided to end it on a high note so that I would be ready for the meeting with the potential Ayi...I am really praying it works out with this one so I do not have to go through the interview process again! Especially since my Manadrin is next to non existant right now!

So the Going rate for a FULL time Ayi is 1500-2000RMB from what I understand talking to other Intel wives. Theresa and Virginia however, both have part time Ayi's and pay them very well! 1400-1500RMB respectively. I should have thought of that before I met with one of their Ayi's recommended persons, now I know they think they should get that much regardless of how many hours less I was going to have them work. We went through the whole process of what would be expected and showing her what cooking supplies and spices I had, which were no good and she said we would need to go shopping for chinese spices. I said no problem but I do have Chinese spices, I am married to a part Chinese man and began to show the three of them my Chinese "five spice" and my soy sauce as well as the black vinager, sweet soy, fish sauce, etc...all of it except the soy and black vinager was in English because Suonllen brought them from home. I was told they were no good, but I do not believe it was because they were not the right spices but because they could not read the english words telling them they were! HAHA, I think I would have done the same thing! From what I understood, all was good and then it was time to talk hours and money. We are lucky that we have an Ayi who works for the complex we live in and we have her two days a week to do general cleaning. She comes in and does the bathrooms, kitchen, floors and changes the beds. She used to do laundry but now that the kids and I are here, she does not have enough time to do it...I think she was like, one person laundry, ok...four person laundry, no way! We do not have to pay for this service which is great! She comes Sunday and Wednesday. So really we only need an Ayi four days a week. I figured on the weekends, we will eat out most of the time anyways so M, T and Th F 2-6 so the new Ayi could make dinners before she left, that seemed simple and was all I was going to shoot for. Virginia's Ayi is there from 1-6 M-F and I believe she helps out occasionally with the kids, Theresa has her Ayi from 2-6 five days a week and she does some stuff with the kids, and they pay, I believe too much. I figured I was looking a one less day and less hours and there were no kids to deal with, mine are older-no childcare needed for them. When we asked what she wanted to get paid for working for us, she quoted 1400RMB. We tried to explain that she was going to be working less hours than the other Ayi's but decided that maybe the Chinese did not think as we Americans do....after all, T.I.C. I have no problem paying for good services, do not get me wrong. But I also believe in paying a fair price, not just paying like many people do. I do not want my actions to affect others and if I pay a crazy amoutnt just because it's what everyone else is doing, it raises the price for the next person. I have one friend who pays 800RMB for part time.... So I figured out what the daily rate of what Virginia and Theresa paid, figured out the and offered that. I was strong and said no to her initial rate , and offered the top of our high range which the potential Ayi countered with 100RMB more and I decided no, I was not just going to buckle and agree to pay it because I REALLY did not want to have to go through this interviewing again but I was going to blame my husband and say I had to check with him...I thanked Theresa and the others for coming and then called Suonllen when they left. We both agreed we wanted to start the Ayi at our lower rate and then increase it when we could see if she was worth more and then pay her more to keep her. So it was decided that I would interview again, but not happy about it. Before I could call Theresa, she called me to tell me the Ayi had decided she would work for the 1100RMB after all...well of course she would! but I told Theresa that I needed to interview one more before we could make a decision. I asked a few other Intel women I knew and am waiting to see what else is out there but until then, the two day a week Ayi is going to have to be good enough and I am going to have to cook a few more meals before I can truly be a full time "Lady of Leisure"....